Cloozoe, help!

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pmag	Cloozoe, help!		Lead	[-]
Posts: 357 01/27/2009 11:19	Tags : None It's a long, cold and boring winter in the U.P. How about coming over here with some of your wonderful irreverence. You owe us yoopers something for the big fish we led you to.
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gofish60		#1	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1908 01/27/2009 14:22 Registered User	He won't come. Claims the flies tend to bounce off the ice. gofish
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pmag		#2	[url]	[-]
Posts: 358 01/28/2009 08:42	He wants us to beg.
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pmag		#3	[url]	[-]
Posts: 359 01/29/2009 17:58	Actually, I meant to this forum, not the U.P.
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DrLogik		#4	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1585 01/29/2009 21:30	Horsesho, Have you ever been to the U.P. in the dead of winter when they have a few feet of snow on the ground? It's brutal, but beautiful man! Like that snowy winter sleigh scene in the movie Dr Zhivago. DrLogik.com Last Edited By: DrLogik 01/29/2009 23:30. Edited 1 time.
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pmag		#5	[url]	[-]
Posts: 360 01/30/2009 09:34	DrLogik wrote: Horsesho, Have you ever been to the U.P. in the dead of winter when they have a few feet of snow on the ground? It's brutal, but beautiful man! Like that snowy winter sleigh scene in the movie Dr Zhivago. I saw a wolf yesterday morning trotting on the frozen Whitefish River. I wonder if the trout knew it.
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pmag		#6	[url]	[-]
Posts: 361 01/30/2009 20:02	Cloozoe wrote: Why aren't you in Texas instead of freezing your chuckers off on the UP? Trying to prove you're tougher than Woody? That's apodictical, hence unnecessary. Good to hear that wolves are coming back to the lower 48. We are building a house on 52 acres AND A River Runs Through It! Actually a good sized spring creek. We sold our house in Texas and have returned to our native state. I'm glad about the wolves, too, but lots of people are not. They'll eat a poodle once in awhile. And deer.
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ZenCane		#7	[url]	[-]
Posts: 102 01/31/2009 12:12	Many years ago, I was testifying at a hearing in front of the USFWS about wolf populations in the UP. There were about a dozen here at the time. I was talking about sustainable populations, genetic bottlenecks, etc. Things got heated. Finally, after a woman frothing at the mouth screamed "Well, how many is enough? When will we have enough wolves?". In a moment of frustration, I responded "When we're losing 2 kids a week from school bus stops to wolves, that will be enough!" Made the TV news that night. My boss found it less amusing than I did.
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amazingwoody	Winter in the UP	#8	[url]	[-]
Posts: 168 02/02/2009 18:32	Diary of a UP Snow Shoveler by Amazingwoody December 8 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life! December 12 The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! Pete Magas tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Pete says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Pete is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. December 14 Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so. December 15 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. Gracie, my wife, wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all. December 16 Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. Gracie laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel. December 17 Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at Gracie and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. December 20 Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Pete says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. December 22 Pete was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Pete who has a snow blower on his tractor for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the a$$hole is lying. December 23 Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.Gracie wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying. December 24 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the SOB who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow. December 25 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.God, hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch 'It's A Wonderful Life' one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. December 26 Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves December 27 Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes. December 28 Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. December 29 10 more inches. Pete says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? December 30 Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted. December 31 I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. January 8 Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed? Amazingwoody "Far from being able to tie a fly, I can barely unzip one." John Voelker
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BruceHandley		#9	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1127 02/02/2009 22:45 Crusty Old Fart	Woody, great diary, are you real sure your not living in up state N.Y. That doing the roof is a pain in the butt, had to do it 3 times last year. This year I'm working from the ground with a roof rake. There is a good chance that your wife and mine were sisters in another life. Bruce
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pmag		#10	[url]	[-]
Posts: 366 02/03/2009 07:57	Woodeye is doing better. It was all a dream. He's resting in Florida while ZenCane and I battle the winter in real life here in mini Siberia. Just last week the wife and I went out for a sleigh ride, she wrapped in ermine skins and me in my blaze orange Stormy Chromer. We just got outside the city limits when I heard the blood curdling hunting cry of wolves. Soon the were next to the sleigh a drooling and baring their fangs. My horses were at a dead run, terrified, their eyes wide, great puffs of steam shooting from their flared nostril and looking back at the devil's canines. They were gaining fast and I was beating the horses with and old graphite Winston 9 foot seven weight. There was only one thing to do. I reached under the ermine skins for Ralphie , the wife's toy poodle, and threw him to the wolves. They threw me a forepaw salute and split little Ralphie six ways. We returned home unmolested. I'm now living in my workshop. My wife claims I never liked Ralphie.
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wbinn	Winter in the UP	#11	[url]	[-]
Posts: 73 02/03/2009 08:53	Woody, Now that's funny! I needed a little humour in the middle of this wretched winter. Thanks, Winston
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pmag		#12	[url]	[-]
Posts: 367 02/03/2009 10:50	Winston, Woodeye never listens to my advice and that why he's always in trouble. I'm sure Cloozoe has tried to advise him. See you in the spring. regards, pmag
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Ken M 44		#13	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2729 02/06/2009 13:16 Immoderatus Britannicus	1st February Snow arrived in UK ... worst 'weather event' for 18 years ... minus 12C tomorrow (about 20 below) apparently a combination of hot wet air from the USA combined with icy blasts from Russia ... Thanks Guys Forecast to last until March. Local councils have run out of salt and grit and not enough snowploughs, Trains and buses not running, all the schools are closed most roads are risky. And Wolves eat horses - I saw pictures from Montana on tv. Trout season starts March 1st. Tying some Miracle nymphs to be ready. Wish I was in Florida
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Cloozoe, help!

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